


OctaHate

by darkpanda22



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Cheating, F/M, I'm Sorry, I'm a horrible person, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Title is the name of the song by Ryn Weaver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 07:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4052356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkpanda22/pseuds/darkpanda22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ray first met him, it was at Rooster Teeth. Ryan Haywood; sweet, charming, funny and lovable. This was how Ray first saw Ryan. Everything was perfect, too good to be true and Ray fell harder than he should have. Song lyrics are in italics. Song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOAkcpuQsBY</p>
            </blockquote>





	OctaHate

_Watch it_

_Watch it_

_Watch it_

_Watch it_

 

Ray frowned, a shaky sigh escaping his mouth. ‘Why?’ He wanted to scream from the top of his lungs. He was everywhere and Ray hated it. Even after he left the one place that made his life so much better to do what he truly loved doing as well as escape seeing **him** every day, he was still everywhere. ‘ **Why** won’t **he** leave me alone?’ ‘It’s done and over but **he’s still there**..In my life.’ He’d let **him** in and now he was in pieces.

 

_Lost in the cracks_

_Of the landslide_

_You saw me slipping on_

_My blind side_

_I'm feeling lost_

_Feeling tongue-tied_

_And now I'm frozen_

_In your headlights_

When Ray first met him, it was at Rooster Teeth. Ryan Haywood; sweet, charming, funny and loveable. This was how Ray first saw Ryan. Everything was perfect, too good to be true and Ray fell harder than he should have. Ryan was always there for him, showering him in love and affection and Ray couldn’t get enough of it. After being broken so many times, he was being mended again and he loved the feeling. But now…Ray need to leave. It had only been two months, though, and Ray didn’t know how exactly to leave Ryan.

 

_Deep in the haze_

_Of your love high_

_I used to soar on_

_The live wire_

_I'm coming down_

_From your supply_

_And I don't know_

_If you can make right_

 

Ray was scared. He found out the hard way how…violent Ryan could be about trivial things so Ray knew if he even spoke about leaving Ryan then there might be some drama. Ray used to be happy with Ryan until he showed his true colors. It was all just a joke, really. Their relationship was nothing but a joke to Ryan. Ray knew what Ryan did when he wasn’t home so there was nothing Ryan could say or do to make him stay.

_I can't take it_

_From the day I saw_

_My heart start breaking_

_No one saved me_

 

Ray didn’t understand how everyone saw this happen. All his friends at Roosterteeth saw what was happening and didn’t even stop him from falling. They knew the pain Ryan would cause but nobody said a thing to him.

 

_I can't take it_

_Can't believe I went and_

_Lost you baby_

_Earth keeps shaking_

_All around_

_Oh, you let me down_

 

Ray still couldn’t believe how perfect their relationship started. He loved Ryan more than anything but he changed. Now, Ray couldn’t stay.

 

_And I can't take it_

_From the day I saw_

_My heart start breaking_

_No one saved me_

 

It still bugs Ray how not even Michael had said a word to him about Ryan’s horrible mind games and anger issues. It stung, knowing that nobody said a word until Joel spoke up. It was a cloudy day when Ray walked into work with his head down, holding back tears. He moved like a zombie all day and Ryan ‘just happened’ to call in sick. Ray knew what he had been doing. He could hear her shouts of pleasure from the living room. He’d used his key to get in and grab a game for work but the sounds made his stomach churn and just as he was about to leave, he heard the worst thing he thought he’d ever hear. “I love you, Kate.” “I love you too, Ryan.” Ray left in a hurry and found himself holding back an ocean for most of the day. It wasn’t till Ray was sitting in the office alone at lunch time, finding everything he could possibly do to stop himself from breaking down at work that Joel walked in and sat down next to him. “You alright, Ray? You uh haven’t been yourself today and I was uh just wondering-“ Joel stopped his rambling when Ray put his head down, a single tear falling down his face. “Oh, Ray..” Joel frowned and pulled him into a hug and as soon as he was pulled into Joel’s arms the dam broke and Ray’s ocean flowed until it was gone. It took a few minutes but Ray finally calmed down. There was a long moment of silence before Ray whispered “H-he cheated on me…with a woman..” Then Ray’s voice started to rise, his anguish turning into anger. “He cheated on me with a f*cking **woman** , Joel!” Joel’s face turned into a look of guilt. “I’m so sorry, Ray. F*ck, I knew- I **knew** this would happen but I thought this’d be different. We all thought this would be different..” Ray’s anger deflated into sadness once again and more tears rolled down his face. “Y-you all- knew? Why- Why didn’t you warn me, Joel…why didn’t you warn me…?” Ray wailed as he stuffed his face into Joel’s chest as Joel tighten his grip on Ray. From that day forward, Joel promised Ray that he’d make sure Ryan wouldn’t do anything to him, knowing what happened to previous boyfriends, Joel was determined to not let that happen to Ray.  

 

_Watch it_

_Watch it_

 

“Watch it, Haywood. You lay a finger on Ray and I’ll make sure you never see the light of day, your hear me?!” Ray was again close to tears as he packed up everything of his from Ryan’s house. Joel had come to make sure Ryan didn’t touch Ray. “I thought this would be different, Ryan! How could you hurt Ray like that when you’re f*cking some girl?!” Ray hurried his packing “IT’S NOT F*CKING LIKE THAT, JOEL! I love her but- I LOVE RAY TOO!” Ray heard a crash and squeaked “BULLSH*T RYAN! YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME! YOU SAY THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND THAT EXCUSE STILL DOESN’T MAKE IT RIGHT!” Another crash “SO F*CKING WHAT IF I SAY IT OVER AND OVER! IT’S THE F*CKING TRUTH! I LOVE THEM BOTH, OKAY!” “SHUT THE F*CK UP RYAN! DON’T YOU DARE SAY YOU LOVE RAY! IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN’T HAVE CHEATED ON HIM AND YOU WOULDN’T HIT HIM! I DON’T CARE HOW ANGRY I GET I WOULD NEVER HIT THE ONE PERSON I’M SUPPOSED TO LOVE!” Everything was quiet after Joel’s rant and Ray pulled his packed bag onto his shoulder as he slipped back into the living room, finding the two glass lamps in pieces on the floor and in the wall by the door. Ryan glared at him as he entered, making Ray shrink in on himself but Joel put a protective arm around Ray. “You stay the f*ck away from Ray, Ryan. You hurt him enough. If you loved him you wouldn’t be with a woman or hit him. Abusing and cheating doesn’t make a person stay.” Ryan glared at them both as they left and Ray quit Achievement Hunter and Roosterteeth shortly after. He’d found a passion in streaming and he was gonna go with it if it meant not making awkward videos with Ryan. Joel was there to help him through it.

 

_Shot through the cracks_

_Of the earthquake_

_My body's moving_

_Into retrograde_

 

Ray still thought about the situation a lot. How could Ryan truly love him if he cheated on him and told the woman he loved her? It was confusing and Ray was still upset about how Ryan treated him.

 

_I'm feeling loose_

_Feeling untamed_

_And you're the dynamite_

_In my chains_

 

Ray was free from Ryan’s grip but he was furious. How **dare** he cheat on him then turn around and say he loved him? How dare he treat him so badly and hit him. His anger grew slowly over the few weeks he started streaming professionally and Ryan seemed to always show up in his chat. Ray hated how he acted like nothing happened. Like, he didn’t just pull Ray’s heart out of his chest and stomp all over it. But Joel was always there to escort him away or make him leave. Joel was always there.

 

_Deep in the trench_

_Of the crossfire_

_You shot me down_

_From the live wire_

 

That night in Ryan’s house still replays in his mind because it was the turning point for Ray. That moment Ray heard those sounds and words was when he knew that Ryan was a horrible person. And because of this, Ray found his escape route through Joel.

 

_Tossed to the loss_

_In your love game_

_You beat me cheating to cheating_

_And now I can't play_

 

Ryan treated Ray’s love like a game and Ray was the one who lost because he couldn’t make it work. Now, Ray had to admit that Joel was always there for him after he broke down at the office and Ray also had to admit that he was slowly falling for the older man. Though, his ability to trust had been shot by Ryan.

_I can't take it_

_From the day I saw_

_My heart start breaking_

_No one saved me_

 

He didn’t know what to do with his new found feelings for Joel. Joel was kind, sweet, cute and most of all safe. Ray felt a home with Joel and it scared him how over a year after breaking up with Ryan, he was falling again and this time deeper.

 

_I can't take it_

_Can't believe I went and_

_Lost you baby_

_Earth keeps shaking_

_All around_

_Oh, you let me down_

 

The perfectness of their friendship scared Ray as well. He could talk to Joel about anything and vice versa. Joel was his rock throughout his break up with Ryan and even after Ray finally got over Ryan.

 

_And I can't take it_

_From the day I saw_

_My heart start breaking_

_No one saved me_

 

Nobody told him love would be so hard.

 

_Hit the ground_

_Running up from you_

_Baby you know I don't want to_

_No I want you_

_But there's nothing_

_Left to say_

 

When Joel found out how Ryan was treating him he made sure Ray left immediately but back then Ray was still hooked. He hadn’t wanted to leave Ryan. He wanted to make it work but Ryan left him no choice. He had nothing else to say to Ryan.

_Lost in the riddle you gave me_

_Caught in the middle_

_You played me_

_See so plainly_

_But there's nothing left to say_

Ray could see all the times where Ryan would sneak off and mess with that woman. He had been so oblivious to everything Ryan was doing because of how far he had fell for Ryan but now he knew and there was nothing left to say.

_I should've known_

_I should've known_

Ray felt so used. He should’ve known from the beginning that their relationship was too good to be true.

_I can't take it_

_From the day I saw_

_My heart start breaking_

_No one saved me_

But no one said a word. They thought Ryan would change and change he did. But it wasn’t because of Ray. Michael had banged on Joel’s door one night and shoved an invitation into his hand, the raw anger in Michael’s face made him suck in a breath but reading what the invitation was for he felt rage bubble up in his gut. **‘You are cordially invited to the wedding ceremony of Ryan & Kate.’ **This was all Ray needed to see before he crumpled it up and threw it toward the trashcan. Ray felt his breathing increase in speed and he let out a roar of anger as he fell to his knees and banged on the floor. Joel rushed in moment later, finding Ray hitting the floor and screaming and Michael watching it all with face of rage himself. “Ray? Michael what’s wrong?” Michael’s frown deepened as he pointed to the crumpled up invitation next to the trashcan. Joel picked it up and smoothed it out before reading the first line and ripping it into pieces and throwing it into the trash.

His face was deadly calm as he calmed down Ray then he and Michael left Joel’s apartment and drove to Ryan’s house. Michael banged loud and hard on his door. Ryan had a smile on his face that quickly melted away at the sight of Joel standing behind an angry Michael. “What the actual f*ck is wrong with you. You have some f*cking nerve sending **me** an invitation to your f*cking wedding with the girl you f*cking cheated on my best friend with, you mother*cker.” Joel didn’t say a word as Michael spoke, glaring hard at the man that shattered Ray’s heart. Ryan frowned, suddenly timid under all the anger radiating off of the two. “Well, I uh- sorry I thought since we didn’t have any uh- problems that maybe you wanted to come..” Michael looked at him incredulously. “Are you f*cking kidding me, Haywood? No problems? You f*cking ripped Ray’s heart right out of his chest and f*cking danced all over it and you thought we had no f*cking problems?! Ray’s my best friend and you thought- I can’t even f*cking believe you.” Ryan frowned “Look, I’m sorry for what I did to Ray but I love my fiancé and we’re gonna get married. If you want to come, then come. Hell, If Ray wants to come then he can but I’m marrying Kate, okay?” Joel’s glare increased tenfold, making Ryan sweat “Sorry doesn’t make Ray trust again. Sorry doesn’t fix a shattered heart. Sorry doesn’t fix anything, Haywood. So I suggest you stop saying sorry because it doesn’t help Ray at all. I’ve held my tongue all this time, Ryan but you are the scum of the earth to me. All I have to say is Karma’s a b*tch and she’ll be coming around when you least expect her.”

Joel turned and Michael followed, leaving Ryan gaping at the door. Michael flipped him off as the pulled away from the house and Joel’s grip on the steering wheel made his hands turn white. Joel dropped Michael off at Gavin’s house, knowing if anyone could calm down Michael it would be his boyfriend, Gavin. Then he went back home, finding Ray asleep on the sofa. He smiled at how adorable the younger man looked and kissed his forehead, pulling the blanket from the edge of the sofa over Ray. One day, Ray would learn to trust again and Joel swore that he’d be the one that Ray put his trust in.

_I can't take it_

_Can't believe I went and_

_Lost you baby_

_Earth keeps shaking_

_All around_

_Oh, you let me down_

After Michael and Joel’s visit, Ryan became a nervous wreck. He now knew that Kate means a lot more to him than Ray ever could and he didn’t want to lose her. So he became paranoid. He did all he could to keep her safe and this lasted up until the wedding. Everything went perfectly and Ryan’s paranoid ways stopped, much to his new wife’s relief. But Ryan’s happiness didn’t last long.  

_And I can't take it_

_From the day I saw_

_My heart start breaking_

_No one saved me_

Over the next few years, Ray found himself starting to open up again. He also found himself with a new boyfriend. He’d been asked out multiple times by Joel but Ray was just so scared of being broken again that he’s block Joel out but he’d always come back to Joel. Ray knew he loved Joel but he was afraid. Joel knew he was afraid and didn’t push him into a relationship. He waited until he was ready and 2 to 3 years after Ryan got married, Ray and Joel started going out. Ray had never been happier than when he was with Joel and sure enough, after 6 years of dating Joel proposed to Ray. Their wedding went like a dream and Ray found that he could finally be himself again. He was happy.

_Watch it_

_Watch it_

_Watch it_

_Watch it_

Ryan, however, was not happy. After 5 years of marriage and two kids, his wife got cancer. She only had a month to live and she died before the full month was up. Ryan had been devastated and a tiny voice in his head would always remind me ‘This is how Ray felt when you started dating Kate without breaking up with him.’ He was diagnosed with depression a month later. His son, age 18, and his daughter, age 13, watched him drink his life away and they vowed never to turn into that. Ryan would either cry himself to sleep at night or throw anything he could get his hands on and once his son got enough money, he moved out taking his sister with him. Then Ryan was truly alone and he drunk himself into liver cancer. He died alone in his home without every knowing he had cancer.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to let me know how I did. Kudos and comments are much appreciated!


End file.
